Mika's Will or Del's Will?
Del is often asked whether Mika really has a choice about how to dress, or whether Mika is only allowed to choose from the things that Del likes.
Some people think that Del projects their own conflict with the normative world on to their children. It is a question that tends to irritate Del.
"The question itself does not respect a child's integrity, free will and ability to choose for themselves. If Mika's objective was to imitate us, Mika would look and dress like us, but this is not the case. When I try to introduce unisex or more masculine styles of clothing to Mika it is not well received and Mika refuses to wear them." says Del. I don't want to raise a people pleaser, that is, a child who feels they need to please others. It can be more difficult to let a child choose but it pays off in the end. However constantly having to defend a child's right and ability to choose for themselves in stressful and exhausting.
"I do not ask heterosexual couples why their son follows the father's football interest or why their daughter has exactly the same hair as the mother. But many feel that they can afford to question us and our children. Some even have an underlying fear that Matilda and I are harming our children just by being ourselves," says Del.
The clock rings on the Rudolf Steiner School, and a bunch of students run up the hill in the schoolyard. They have to play animals, and today it is Mika who decides which animals they should be.
"You're a turtle, you're a giraffe, you're a horse, and you're a lion," says Mika, pointing around at the herd.
The other children nod in agreement and start living in the roles. The game begins, they run one after the other and jump wildly around the schoolyard. Mika is a rabbit.